BenMorley
Contributor

Offline, last online: Jan 22 2008, 10:16 AM

WITH the Christmas eating and drinking season nearly over, I am ready to make my comeback.
It's purely coincidental that it's coincided with the end of the holiday period and the fact I need to run off a few Quality Streets! (no I'm not on commission for the shameless plug!)
I'm looking forward to getting back training with the lads and getting amongst the banter again, although judging by this blog I won't have much to offer!
I thought I'd end 2007 with a little review of the year, which should embarrass and amuse a few of the lads.
Best dressed player: Me - I looked well dapper on our Xmas night out!
Weirdest moment: Neil "The gaffer" Allison getting drinks poured down his neck in the dentists chair in Baracuda! He's supposed to set a GOOD example as manager!
Lightest drinker: Gary Bradshaw - I don't think I've ever seen our midget striker stay out past midnight!
Most under the thumb: Andy Thompson - I think he only takes it off his head to play matches.
Biggest weasel: Mike Price - He never tires of his own voice and apparantly he used to play for Wales, although he doesn't like to mention it!
Biggest gangster: Antoni Pecora - When speaking to winger Danny Ryan about his luck with the ladies, our keeper gave him some great advice. He said: "If you wants some birds, stick with me - I run this town!" Have you ever heard a worse shout!?! (Can you believe he actually said this!?)
Squarest head in football: Alex Davidson - If Norris McGuerta was still around he'd be down to see if he could get him in the Guiness Book of Records!
Worst haircut: Matty Bloor - The young midfielder's "Flock of Seaguls" barnet has taken over my mantle, although my "nest" is still a very close second!
Biggest clown: Neil Parsley - Our sacked boss would have had us relegated before Xmas if he'd stayed around.


WE may have a big home match against Marine this weekend but the lads' minds are on more important issues!

This weekend is our Xmas night out on the town so I'm sure a few of the boys will be concerned about what to wear for the big occasion.

I'll be wearing something rascal that makes me looks as camp as Christmas, but that's just standard fare nowadays!

I'm sure a few of the lads will have been out to buy some new gear, and I'm sure some of it will never be worn again after it gets caned!

I reckon I can already predict what half the team will wear.

Gary Bradshaw: He usually likes to dress like John Madden and will have some sort of NFL-based T-shirt at his disposal. Hopefully, we won't have to put up with the ginger beard he's been sporting for the past few weeks.

Chris Bolder: The midfield maestro will probably opt for a tight top, allowing him to show off what he think is a body! (I can't wait for him to start talking about rats)

Mike Price: Whatever he wears will be terrible, but he'll claim it's Diesel! He looked like "The Man From Delmonte" the last time we all went out so expect it to be rasc!

Andy Thompson: He will probably wear something white and washed out - I think his Mrs does everything on 50 degrees!

Antoni Pecora: He like to think he's a male model so he'll probably just wear an Italian tracksuit top. It's ****, but it cost him £100 so he'll have to justify the price by wearing it (again)!

WITH regards to team matters, I just want to say well done to Alex Davidson for getting himself on the score-sheet again.

Since I caned him for his lack of UniBond Prem goals, he's been determined to prove me wrong.

The weasel with the squarest head in football bagged the winner over Buxton last week and I'm hoping he can continue on his hot streak this weekend.

LAST week's clash also saw us have a woman linesman (how does that work) and she actually did quite well for a girl!

I was a bit surprised to see the ref had let her have a flag of her own though as I'd imagined she would have just put her handbag up to indicate for an offside. (Can you believe it, she actually knew the rule!)